Confessions of a hopeless unromantic

Being romantic is something I am not good at. Just ask my girlfriend. She would readily regale you with stories on the ways I've managed to fall to new lows in this aspect of our relationship year after year.

Like other unromantics, I have convinced myself that it's not necessary to be romantic on the days majority of the population have agreed to be the most apt time to show off their amorous side . In my mind, Valentines Day is a capitalist invention meant to get people to shell out money unnecessarily. Birthdays are grim reminders that we’re not getting any younger. And anniversaries are… I don’t have a solid excuse for this yet but I am pretty sure us unromantic will figure out one soon.

I do not necessarily believe in all of those things. But being clueless to the ways of romance, I have to resort to excuses. Don’t believe me? How’s this for romance: In more than five years I’ve been with my girlfriend, kisses (not the chocolate brand) are the gift I’ve given the most with cash being a close second. There were even times that I didn't have any gifts for her. Pathetic. I know.

But all this she takes in stride. She would patiently listen to excuses for my lame gift—usually cash followed by the statement “at least you get to really pick what you want"— and with a sigh and then a smile she would accept whatever I have for her. She says my ineptness at romance is cute. I say I am lucky.

My being romantically-challenged is made even worse by the fact that she is pretty good with that stuff. Early in our relationship, she was a prolific giver of gifts and other tokens of affection. Knowing that I am not good at those things, I managed to convince her not to do those things anymore. But there are still times when I find small notes tucked in my things professing sweet nothings. There are even days when she'll surprise me with items that a few weeks or months ago I said I liked.

I do have a romantic bone in me, though. Images of me surprising her with getaways to romance-evoking places, where I can present her with gifts that would stir up more of such feelings have been circling in my mind for as long as we've been together. But for me to do that I would need lots of money, which unfortunately do not have. In case I do get the money, there is still the problem of Mr. Practical in me not allowing myself to blow off that much cash in the name of romance.

I try to make up for my being unromantic by being as affectionate as possible. Like I said I am pretty generous with kisses. The same goes for hugs and compliments. Those things do come free after all. But I do feel that my girlfriend will not mind if I do whip out some grand gestures of romance every now and then.

It didn't come this Valentines though. She had to settle for a simple text message. I wasn't even able to come up with the dough for a small bouquet. Heck! I wasn't even able to pick her up from school! Yes, yes, I already know it's pathetic.

In a way this public self-flagellation is a way to make amends. I also think its a bit romantic. But like I said I am not the best person to ask about these things.